...perlexed

I've been living my new normal for awhile now, yet I still don't get it. I lied to the heater guy to check out my furnace, wanted him to think Jack was still in the picture.Maybe I  feel vulnerable. I will probably continue to do that for a while, it gives me a sense of security..not sure if that's the correct approach.Ben's security is by far my utmost concern, so if I have to lie about the "man" of the house, I'm all about it...even though lying has never been a principle I have ever adhered to.