I think we all have a habit of taking things for granted. I expected to post a blog last night..that didn't happen.
I crumbled last night.. realizing how important to my mental health this blog is. I almost fell apart with Ben's teacher this morning, anxiety attack just beginning. I guess losing things unexpectedly has become a common thread in my life.
I mentioned on FB last night, after I couldn't get onto this site, that my glass house was starting to shatter. I meant that. My facade is strong, but isn't that what a facade is?
It' been 5 weeks.
Ben and I have both been sleeping in the guest bedroom together. Two nights ago when I came up, Ben had twisted all the bedding. It was dark in the room and I'm trying to frantically straighten things out. No lie, in one split second there was a light at the end of the bed, and all the bedding was straight. Don't get me wrong, I'm not sure what to make of that, all I know is Jack has always protected Ben.
Hopefully, in time, I will be able to take all of the unraveling threads in my life.... and learn how to knit.
Barbie, your honesty is eye opening and touches me so deeply. We all have our struggles and I feel guilty that mine is so trivial as to fret over my resigning my head coach position. Not a day goes by that I don't think of you... pray for you... Please think of all your friends as a comfy blanket wrapping around you to comfort and warm you. I know it's a journey... a difficult arduous journey. Please please know that we're all out there caring for you... wishing you comfort and peace.
ReplyDeleteBarbie, I wish I had some words or wisdom...or humor...or...understanding. I don't. Yet your words move me and inspire me. So, I thank you for sharing.
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