Friday, May 13, 2011

I'm back..barely

I think we all have a habit of taking things for granted. I expected to post a blog last night..that didn't happen.
I crumbled last night.. realizing how important to my mental health this blog is. I almost fell apart with Ben's teacher this morning, anxiety attack just beginning. I guess losing things unexpectedly has become a common thread in my life.

I mentioned on FB last night, after I couldn't get onto this site, that my glass house was starting to shatter. I meant that. My facade is strong, but isn't that what a facade is?

It' been 5 weeks.

Ben and I have both been sleeping in the guest bedroom together. Two nights ago when I came up, Ben had twisted all the bedding. It was dark in the room and I'm trying to frantically straighten things out. No lie, in one split second there was a light at the end of the bed, and all the bedding was straight. Don't get me wrong, I'm not sure what to make of that, all I know is Jack has always protected Ben.

Hopefully, in time, I will be able to take all of the unraveling threads in my life.... and learn how to knit.

2 comments:

  1. Barbie, your honesty is eye opening and touches me so deeply. We all have our struggles and I feel guilty that mine is so trivial as to fret over my resigning my head coach position. Not a day goes by that I don't think of you... pray for you... Please think of all your friends as a comfy blanket wrapping around you to comfort and warm you. I know it's a journey... a difficult arduous journey. Please please know that we're all out there caring for you... wishing you comfort and peace.

    ReplyDelete
  2. Barbie, I wish I had some words or wisdom...or humor...or...understanding. I don't. Yet your words move me and inspire me. So, I thank you for sharing.

    ReplyDelete