Blog 5 ( no creativity has set in)

I actually accompished 3 things today, for me, that is an achievement. Ben and I don't  spend too much time in the master bedroom yet. I shower, fold clothes(if I remember to), and that's about it. When my brother Greg stayed with us I told him that we needed to rearrange the room. Ben already had a layout. I drove Ben to school, which is less than 10 min. away and by the time I got home Greg had done it all by himself. He is my stud brother! He put Jacks's nightstand on the side of the bed that I sleep on. Today I opened it up, thinking it was mine. I found letters.

Dear Jack,
What's happening sport?
It's Tuesday morning and I'm waiting for the coffee to finish brewing. There's nothing like a little bean to get your day rolling. Before I say anything else I just want to tell you that I love the hell you. It seems this past week-end was different in some way. Maybe I'm way off base but I felt we talked and laughed more together. Sometimes when I hear you talk I just look at you and want to hug the hell out of you. I feel like I'm falling in love with you all over again. It feels good!....letter to be continued..

I'm thinking that was written in the early 80's after Jack left ISU. My mother would be disappointed that I didn't date it, she taught me better.

I had an epiphany a few nights ago. Jack had always wanted his ashes spread on the island of Tortola, which is in the British Virgin Islands. I had mentioned it to Ben weeks ago. One late night, I felt some clarity and some feelings about not going to Tortola.  Then I thought we'll go to Bonaire, in the Carribean. Jack and I dove there as well. Same negative vibe was felt.  I knew Jack , our protector, was telling me not to take Ben out of the States. Hawaii, then came to mind. We dove there as well. Ben overheard me talking to my mom about my epiphany, and he,out of the blue said we're going to Hawaii. Ben had no idea that was on my mind. I hadn't mentioned it to him.